PR Entry

[Ranger] It's been several months half a year basically wow since we last posted in our PR, and it was because we were overwhelmed, not because we were not logging. I feel like too much is going on at this point not to log stuff, and in the end I'll add the missing entries later.

Until I get the older posts cleaned up... super quick and dirty update:

  • I and "Cat's bro" are doing okay. We're not the best of friends, but that's okay too. Sometimes we like to play board games and play smash together. He joined the forums officially as "Flame Explosion" and likes to hang out at times.
  • I mustered up the courage to speak in front of Cat's parents at times, and after several months of that I officially introduced myself. I feel a little bit better about being myself even though it feels awkward sometimes.
  • We spent a lot of time trying to switch. No clear success yet but we learned a lot and tried a bunch of new stuff. Right now we’re really burned out on switching and Cat believes she needs to spend more time meditating.
  • Our visualization improved a little bit. Instead of being a blur, Cat can now get a fairly good look at me. Cat’s also a little more dissociated in general...
  • Turns out Cat really likes school... even though it stresses her out. In the future, I look forward to taking gen eds to see if that is something that will interest me.
  • Cat recently made another leap towards healing- she no longer sees herself as a monster. She said that her failures started to look like life lessons rather than more pain, and now Cat has new ideas on how to move forward with school.
  • After stressing out about the others for far too long, we realized they're probably Tulpas and now we're a system of 17. We're trying to figure out the best way to go about giving them more time and right now we're a giant mess. We decided to try a new rotation system out and see what happens.
  • Rotation system: 1-2 of the others at a time will be active per day. We grouped them in pairs and improvised where needed.

Most of the old logs are about our switching attempts in greater detail and some other things. I will update the old PR and then add new stuff in this google doc later to try and preserve the order of events. I don't think I ever did. I turned on comments if anyone want to respond here.

In more recent news…

We tried to hold a meeting with our whole system last night… but we fell asleep. The next morning, the others noticed that both of us were tired. I ended up wanting a break and no one wanted Gray to lead the meeting. 

(Gray: Ranger has an easier time speaking in front of them than I do, and when Ranger talks he wastes less time).

The others decided that they wanted to split into small groups and discuss the topics amongst themselves so it’s not one speaker and 15 other people trying to talk and think.

Today is technically Duck and Evergreen’s day, but we ran into some problems with feeling burned out and trouble getting a meeting organized. We both agree chances are they need more time and we will focus on them tomorrow.

Uploaded 3/13/23
Changed how we address our headmates
Added a sarcastic comment in italics

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