Oh wow it's new years

[Ranger] A lot didn't happen, and most of what did happen wasn't great.

  • We turned ourselves in to the mental hospital during the summer.
  • Gray and I split and quickly reintegrated on two separate occasions
  • Gray has a shard that has hung out for the last what... month at this point?
  • We rotted for the last few months, taking a toll on Gray the most
  • I developed a sour attitude towards cocreation (tulpamancy) I don't completely understand. My suspicion is feeling depressed I can't make progress.
  • We had some cool dreams... that we didn't write down :(

Our system holding together... somehow, really is a gift. But it's not necessarily system instability that is the problem. It's the depression, and it left a nastier mark than it had in a long time.

There are some bright sides though.

  • Blue and Ryan integrated into Jared/Jerry
  • I did get a lot of time to heal. I got a big slice of the therapy work pie. Additionally, the big chaos in my life concluded and I have had a chance to adjust.
  • We started volunteering at a pet store to help clean and play with cats
  • We're making progress with getting disability income.
  • We'll likely move in the future. The new home will function like two apartments, which will provide more breathing room
  • Dream made some therapy progress

This past year was not good, but we're optimistic about the future. There are new opportunities, a new place will ultimately shake things up. And hopefully we can get disability this year.

Another update regarding Dream:

Note: Dream refers to both all of his clones or his clone named Dream depending on the context. If I mention other clones, assume I'm referring to Dream the clone

Note 2: For us, Dream in general is a symbol of our unconscious mind. The Architect is a symbol for the deeper parts of the unconscious mind.

While Dream was sorting stuff out with himself, he and I had some cool experiences with The Architect, one of Dream's clones. The Architect told me a story and Dream and I went on this trippy adventure for therapy reasons. While I'm not comfortable disclosing the trippy adventure or explain the meaning behind the story, I can at least tell the story-

Once upon a time, there was a knight. Serving the king and queen, they ordered him to slay a dragon. And on his horse, the knight set off.

After traversing the kingdom, the knight finds the dragon. After dismounting his steed, the knight cuts the dragon's belly with his sword. To his surprise, the knight collapses, finding a wound on himself. The knight then retreats and heads to the castle.

After the knight explains he couldn't slay the dragon, the king and queen banish him from the kingdom. The knight takes off on his steed, but stops and lays down in the dark wasteland as he succumbs to his wounds.

Attracted to the knight, the dragon lands. The steed neighs in a panic as the dragon looms over the unconscious knight. The dragon then takes the horse and the knight to its lair in a mountain.

At the mountain lair, the cave reveals a garden at the end. The horse feeds on the fresh grass as the dragon presents the knight to a fairy. The fairy then heals the knight, bringing him some strength.

But the fairy has a twisted, wicked grin. Betraying the dragon, she lashes out at the knight. The dragon strikes back, keeping her at bay.

The knight looks up as the dragon and fay fight. He has to make a choice.

I made some art, but I'm not sure how to make a nice, condensed art cluster like on Discord. I'll post our new system silhouette pic instead, the picture of Jared drawn by Evergreen-

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