PR Entry
System Stuff
[Ranger] Tl;dr - I talk about some of Cat's philosophy on the others vs. Tulpas, the others gather around for a meeting only to decide I shouldn't be mayor, and I give a brief description of all of the others I mention.
When it comes to the others, we have differing perspectives on the issue. Cat is still struggling with what to do with them because she's afraid she could force them into Tulpae accidentally and because it can trigger her guilt about them. As a result, she would avoid talking to them. I see them as my family and friends, and I would prefer to hang out with them more often.
Recently, we had somewhat of an argument...I was trying to express myself as being upset and Cat didn't really know what to do with that. I see it as somewhat resolved after this morning when I re-explained what I wanted her to hear.
One of the things I talked about is my theory on her relationship between the others and herself. I believe there is a spectrum on how much control Cat exerts on her thought forms, from 3 to 0. I like to think of it like this:
3) Intentional Parroting - No doubt in who's controlling who.
2) Unintentional Parroting - What most Tulpamancers are told to ignore and eventually do get over. Normally, this may take the form of "fake clones" or directly affect the Tulpa. I think Cat struggles with this a little bit sometimes, but it's really only an issue for her because she sometimes predicts a conversation in advance or tries to talk to me when I'm not awake yet. In the context of the others, sometimes she will try to voice for them but it comes of as feeling fake.
1) Emotional or Empathetic Parroting - The emotions and/or empathy is so powerful it controls the target. It can be creepy and frustrating if used on a Tulpa, although the Tulpa's emotional state and emotions may factor in as well. I'm not sure why, but this kind of parroting seems to bring out not exactly Cat herself but her subconscious, which makes the target seem like they are speaking for themselves, or in the context of the others, they seem like their own people. I see this to be what brings out the others for what they really are- a little bit of Cat and their filtration of Cat's subconscious.
In retrospect, I have been influenced by Cat's anxiety before and I wonder if this can explain why I feel "possessed" when Cat has an episode of dark thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.
0) Communicating with a Tulpa - The important difference between 3 and 4 is the source- Tulpae have (I'm assuming) their own subconscious, or their own mind. An important part for the host is assuming that part of the mind is their own person to begin with. Cat assumed I was separate from the others and in comparison the others were just an extension of herself. She assumed this before she knew what Tulpae were.
Anyway, this morning, I hosted a meeting for Cat and all of the others. I brought up the suggestion of making modifications to the Wonderland and asked for their opinions. *Blue brought up the idea of a Ferris wheel, and it took off from there. The idea evolved from a Ferris wheel to an amusement park to a small town to a small town but with parts that are unstable. I don't think any major decisions were made, but the others bashed the idea of me becoming mayor.
Some notable highlights were *Fernardo announcing he was late even though we thought everyone was there, *Hope curled up into a ball and didn't participate because he was anxious about his identity, Cat was amused of the fact *Bune in Cat's words, "pull an English teacher" by restating *Dark Gray's comment about his disapproval of me becoming mayor but using a softer tone and language, and of course *Trojeck interrupted the meeting and after I reassured him, he left. Oddly, *Exabier didn't show.
Both Cat and I agree that the meeting would be best described as awkward.
*The others I mentioned:
Blue: An ecstatic personality who likes to lift people's spirits but also likes to create silly inventions. He has a weird association to business but the sweetheart isn't going to cut you any cold deals.
Fernardo: An uptight man that dresses like a farmer and has a knack for making the best tea. He values social niceties and manners.
Hope: Cat's attempt to make nice with a liquid mirror demon. Despite his troubled past, things seemed to sort out for the better.
After the meeting, Cat spoke with him and he requested to deviate a little bit. He felt that some of his anger was artificial and he wished to reject it from his personality. He still prefers his child form and now his giraffe rattle can morph into anything. The confrontation ended on a positive note.
Bune: He recently became accepted as one of the others once Cat was encouraged to do so by Dark Gray. Cat associates him with files in a library, but Bune seems to be more interested in talking about Cat's memories.
Dark Gray: The first of the others Cat created after myself and her identity of Gray. He was a scheming trouble maker in the past but has deviated wildly to the point he likes Christmas sweaters and is recognized as somewhat of a father figure.
Trojeck: A miniature 1 foot troll that is offensive in every way imaginable, to the point it's ridiculous. He dwells in his own room and we ignore him as he ignores us, entertained by TV and... Trojeck things.
Exabier: The only one of the others that truly qualifies as a "walk-in". He likes to pull pranks by turning invisible and throwing his voice, otherwise he just talks non-stop.
Note from the future (6/13/20) - Trojeck seems to be one of the numerous mind characters that were lost to the mind. This includes System (a fish that was part machine and sometimes evil), Amitee (a character I created because I wanted a character of my own but decided not to carry on with the creation process), and the various “Ranger clones” that are not currently part of our Sub Rep.
Published 3/22/23
Changed how I address my headmates
Took out the problematic old headmate name
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